Wednesday, July 25, 2007

...and the Saga continues...

Well, apparently Big Bertha might not be the last of her kind. I woke up last night (or morning) at 3:30am to a seering pain in my left side. I thought it might be the way I was sleeping- I don't know why I thought that, considering all my kidney problems have started out this way. You'd think I'd learn to recognize the signs by now. Anyway, so getting up made it worse- I should have just laid there writhing in agony instead.

So by 3:45am the routine has started: I usually take Tylenol and a hot shower and wait to see how I feel, if I don't fall asleep pain-free in 30min-1hour then I take Tylenol w/ Codeine- fun! If I'm still coherent and miserable then the doc gets a call which has, in the past, resulted in a trip to the hospital. Luckily this time I fell asleep after the 1st round of Tylenol- worrying about how I was going to feed the dogs and teach yoga if I was in the hospital and Brian out of town. Before I fell into unconsciousness, however, I actually wondered if I went to the hospital if they would just do a c-section already and get Sophia out of there instead of making me endure +/- 6 more weeks of this torture. I mean, she'll be alright, right? Okay, no. Nevermind. Please ignore that insane moment of selfishness.

After sleeping a total of about 11 hours, which seems to be a necessity right now, I crawl out of bed in a bad mood and can't find anyone to be angry with. Have you ever tried to be cranky with your poor dogs when they haven't done anything wrong? Doesn't last long- they're too cute and they don't argue back enough to feed your bad mood. My back still hurts a little at this point but not enough to take anything for it yet. See, I like to torture myself and wait until I just can't handle the pain anymore.

So I start looking around the internet about kidney stones during pregnancy. First site I visit is a forum with lots of pregos w/ the same problem. Only thing is, their stories are so horrible I actually break down and start crying- mostly for them, but also in "poor me" mode. Yes, I am 8 mos. prego, just gave birth to a kidney stone big enough to be a large piece of gravel, and I am sitting in my husband's boxers (b/c that's all that fits me), crying like a 3-year-old because Tracy in 2005 had a horrible pregnancy because of the stents her doctor put in. Pathetic.

What am I going to do? Why can't I just be pregnant? You know, waddling and swollen but knowing that a wonderful baby is on the way? Should I just give in and start a registry at Kidney Stones R Us, give them names, and plan on raising them along with our children? At this point, they and this pain has become so much a part of me I'm not sure what a true pregnancy should feel like. Doesn't look good for future pregnancies- but since I LIKE torture, there will probably be more anyway. (Not to leave Brian out: apparently he likes to be tortured too. With all the bitching and moaning and hospital trips he's had to endure, you'd think he'd be apprehensive about have more kids. Oh no, he still wants to know when we can get pregnant again.)

Okay, so anyway, I'm going to a urologist on Friday. When I was in the hospital last week, he was in favor of suggesting a stent to open the ureturs- we'll see if he still thinks so. My biggest fear is that I'll go in and he'll tell me I just have to deal with the pain a little longer, or even worse that he can't find a reason why I should still be in agony. On the other hand, a stent seems like a lot of trouble to go to when I'm so close to the due date. Ugh!

No comments: